She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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