the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
