talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
porn star boner night. come get it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
