I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
try to milk me bitch
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
