He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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