She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
