Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
