What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
