i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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