You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is wine microwaveable?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
