It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
