i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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