i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
