Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
