you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
