I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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