i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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