I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
