Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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