Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
This is not my ceiling
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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