I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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