Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
