The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
