I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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