3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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