I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize