Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Damn victory sex feels great
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
