Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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