That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize