i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
