you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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