Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
