Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
