it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
