i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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