Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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