omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
