I just cut my nipple shaving
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You're like the curious george of whores
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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