My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
