I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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