we have officially lost it.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
