Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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