Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
