We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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