When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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