He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
