and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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