Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
