clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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