Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize