Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
