I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
