party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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