hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
