I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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