All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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