White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
