Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
