Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
