What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
