you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
