just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
